my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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