You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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