I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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