i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
grandma shit on top of the toilet
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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