Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
