zippers are such a cool invention
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am available for nakedness
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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