I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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