so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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