I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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