the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's like iHOP with fire
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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