awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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