so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
