FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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