I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
