Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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