Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
