I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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