the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
