Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
