her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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