My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize