I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
