i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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