My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
