Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
