Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
