I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize