Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
