Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize