Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize