RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
