you guys were way drunker than both of me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
