I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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