the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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