Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
