we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize