coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
