I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
