we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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