I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
