I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
