So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
