thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
