I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's official drugs can't kill me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
