I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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