I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
