She is in my trunk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
