So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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