so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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