my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I still have a little drunk in my system
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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