for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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