I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
