I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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