ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize