i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
