Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
