remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
