Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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