I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
