it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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