Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
