Jerry, you need to find god
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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