we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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